egg-rolls:

when u stand up 2 fast n suddenly ur floatin thru space n time

spoken-not-written:

THE CUTEST THING IS WHEN SOMEONE CAN’T STOP SMILING LIKE THEY SMILE THEN THEY TRY TO NOT SMILE THEN THEY END UP SMILING MORE AND THEIR CHEEKS GO ALL CUTE AND SAPOIDSP[DOSADPSA[]PS[]DSAPD[]SAP

jesusinc:

I love sunglasses, am I looking at that tree? Am I staring at your dick? Who knows!

turkey-imported-from-maine:

firelorcl:

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

tanpom:

if i have to text you first every single time then we aint gonna text ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

stability:

people who feel comfortable pooping anywhere other than their house are not to be trifled with

foodchewer:

if ur looking for me i’ll be in the trash

wonderfulgiantsinthesky:

antiocial:

you should be expecting that.

Why the fuck would anyone be expecting that?

scrotumcoat:

get that shit outta here with your weak ass mullet

scrotumcoat:

get that shit outta here with your weak ass mullet

budweiner:

When you get shouted at for accidentally doing something bad

image